Mission and Numbers

Often I have judged missions effectiveness by looking at the numbers involved. I think we naturally tend to think that God's blessing is revealed in large numbers. How many are in youth group? How many students in your class? How much money in your budget? How many bodies in your church building? How many hits on your blog? How many square feet to your building? How many nights a week are you out serving?

The latest challenge to my re-thinking are the limitations that I face on a daily basis. I have Chronic Fatigue Syndrome and somehow God has me on the mission field! My role is changing from that of ELL teacher to that of pray-er! Is that any less needed than teacher? No one sits in my class but me. God is my teacher. He is redirecting my attention to HIM. We are together in this journey. I am here for God's purposes even if I don't really get it. CFS is an invisible condition. To most everyone I look just fine! But to those who can see, there is an ache in every step and a sore throat in most every conversation and a fatigue that comes after an hour of talking or typing. So I do the best I can with the few hours I have everyday to serve and I trust that in serving my family they will be able to do all the visible work that I cannot.

This is not who I was or who I want to be, but I am growing to be thankful for the fellowship with the Lord in the midst of it that is deeper. And this is my prayer..... Psalm 119: 74 says, "May all who fear YOU find in me a cause for joy, for I have put my hope in your Word." I seek to put my hope in His Word--Jesus-- who never changes.